Laura's Thoughts on Life

Tears and Pain

You don't read this and since you won't listen to me when I talk, maybe the world will listen to me when I write.

It hurts. I can't get to sleep through the tears. I miss you, and you don't even care; which you proved tonight when I asked you to talk and the sound of your voice really didn't want to. You may think I'm selfish, you may think I'm stupid, but we were once close, why wouldn't I want to spend time with you.

You don't think that my feelings are legitimate. That's fine. It doesn't change the fact that this is how it is and it's based on events.

Yes, it has been easier for me to just avoid you this week, mostly because I have trained myself over the years to ignore rejection. Who doesn't? When someone becomes excluded and unwanted they move on, or at least try too. But this is too hard, I don't want to let you go, even though clearly, you have already let go of me.

You may be in something new, but what ever happened to growing old and sharing stories, us, yeah we knew there would be others in the picture, but why do they need to come between what we had once? We won't ever have that again will we? I hate that feeling.

I wish I could let you go as easily as you have let me go, but as I sit up at night wondering what went wrong and why we changed, I can only come up with one reason. And unfortunately you won't like that reason very much.

I miss you, more than you know, more than you most likely care, but I will always be here. When you fall and need someone to catch you, I'll be there. Just so long as you let me back in. (Which means not minimizing my feelings into stupidity and selfishness). I may not usually act like your typical girl, but for some reason, losing you has made me more like a girl than I knew was in me.

Sorry for waking you, I won't do it again.

posted by Unknown @ 11:37 PM